The Life of an Older Orphan
This is the third of a four-part series on Anya, one of Russia’s unseen orphans who found hope and purpose through Orphan’s Tree. This is a true story, but some names have been changed. You can read parts one and two here, if you have not yet. Part 3
Within the first year that Anya lived in Galich, a group of Americans came to visit her orphanage. They were the first foreigners she’d ever seen. KCBI, a Christian radio station in Dallas, had collected and shipped 5,700 pairs of shoes to Russian orphans through Children’s HopeChest that winter of 1995. According to Anya, a tall man with a long trench coat and a cowboy hat placed shoes on her feet and tied her shoes for the first time in her life. It was an act of parenting she had never experienced before. It was a powerful moment that she has never forgotten, and it was the moment my life and Anya’s intersected. The man in the trench coat was my dad, and I was on that trip with him. Though I did not meet Anya that day, I met many children like her, and my eyes were opened to the plight of orphans living thousands of miles away from my comfortable American life. The shoe program continues today with Buckner International as Shoes for Orphan Souls.
One year later, a family came forward to adopt Anya’s younger sister. The orphanage director explained to Anya that her sister would be leaving to go live with a family, but that she would not. Anya’s gracious response was, “Let her go. She will be better off with a family than here.” Though sad to see her sister leave, she was also relieved that she wouldn’t need to protect her at the orphanage anymore. Later Anya would obtain the address of her sister’s new home, and over the years, any time she could find an envelope, she would write to her sister.
At the age of 15, Anya aged out of the orphanage and was sent to a tech school. She left with the equivalent of a 9th grade education and the stigma of being an orphan. The children at Galich were socially isolated and detached from the rest of society. On the rare occasion when they were in public, people told them they were unwanted and that’s why they lived in an orphanage. Often times parents wouldn’t want to send their child to a school that orphans attended. They believed that children who lacked the discipline and structure of a family would be a bad influence on their children. In fact, Russians have a saying about orphans: “bad blood.” The perception is that the sins of the fathers would carry down through their children. If the father was a criminal or an alcoholic, then the child would become that as well. Orphans were frequently treated as second-class citizens and taken advantage of. Discrimination occurred even within the orphanage, leaving children with no option but to run away and live on the street.
While Anya was not literally on the streets, her tech school in the city of Kostroma was not much better. Hundreds of teenagers lived in a run-down building with very little supervision. The girls felt especially vulnerable and unprotected. The students were there to acquire basic skills such as carpentry, mechanics, painting, or sewing, but Anya remembers that time as one of the scariest, most desperate and lonely times of her life. The orphanage had not equipped her for living independently, and even the most basic things like using public transportation and handling money were frightening and overwhelming. For the entire month of September, she cried in her bed.
Anya had three roommates at the tech school. She refers to one of these as the “brave girl.” One day the brave girl saw Anya writing her sister a letter and noticed the address. The girl asked Anya if she was aware her sister’s home was only two bus stops away from their school. Anya had no idea, but the brave girl led her to her sister’s apartment. When they rang the bell, a Babushka (Russian grandmother) answered the door. Anya explained who she was, and the grandmother welcomed her into the apartment for tea and warm soup. As they chatted briefly, the grandmother told Anya that her sister was at school, but that Anya could come back later to visit her. She did, and Anya and her sister still have a healthy relationship today.
Next week, in the final part of this series, we’ll see how Anya finally found the kind of family she longed for and catch up on how she’s doing today.
