Family at Last
This is the end of a four-part series on Anya, one of Russia’s unseen orphans who found hope and purpose through Orphan’s Tree. This is a true story, but some names have been changed. You can read the previous posts here, if you have not yet. Part 4
After five years of separation, Anya was able to reconnect with her little sister, who had been adopted out of their orphanage at the age of 7. Like many children who were born in Soviet or post-Soviet times, Anya’s sister was probably raised with the help of her grandmother. Most Russian mothers return to work when their children are between 1 and 3 years of age, and the kids are typically left with their grandmother. To have hired help in raising kids in Soviet culture was considered "bourgeois" and highly suspicious. Besides, most people didn’t have options to hire professional nannies or the money to pay them if they did. Instead, it was normal for a grandmother to retire when her first grandchild was born.
It’s amazing and inspiring to see how much of a role Babushkas have played in the Church in Russia, even going back as far as St. Olga. She was the first of the Russians/Ukrainians to accept Orthodox Christianity, and she was able to influence her grandson, Prince Vladimir, who in turn brought Christianity to an entire nation!
Anya, of course, had a very different experience. She had gone from a neglectful, alcoholic parent to no parent at all. As a child from an orphanage, she suffered not only the mental wounds of loss and abandonment but the societal injuries of being labeled as a “bad blood” orphan. At the age of 15, she was considered an adult and pushed out into a trade school, where she was left to fend for herself in a scary, unfamiliar world.
Almost always limited by a ninth-grade education, orphans find that attending trade school is their only option. They are assigned to a trade school based on availability of dorms rooms. The least desirable trade schools are the ones that have space. These schools provide simple training for careers such as sewing, cooking, interior painting, construction, tractor driving, etc. Few kids are excited about the manual-labor profession assigned to them. Even after they spend a couple of years completing their studies, it’s still hard to get a job without experience and with the stigma they carry as orphans. The trade school provides training for the profession but doesn’t provide guidance for how to find and keep a job or how to be successful in the workplace. Although jobs can be found, the salaries are minimal, and employers often take advantage of inexperienced young adults.
After Anya’s first month at trade school—the month spent crying in her bed she found out about a ministry center that my Dad and Children’s HopeChest had recently opened. This was a safe place where Anya made friends, received mentoring, and started to feel like she had a place where she belonged. Anya had at last found “family.”
“This is where we find a family, little by little,” she told me. “This is who we want to celebrate holidays with. This is where we get our practical, spiritual, and emotional needs met. We truly have nowhere else to go.” Following trade school, with the encouragement of Ministry Center staff and her own persistence, Anya went on to enter and complete her university education.
While God directed Anya to the kind of family her heart longed for, her family of origin took more tragic turns. Anya’s mother went on to have four more children, all of whom ended up in orphanages. Anya says her mother has not changed, and she has no desire for relationship with her today.
Now 28 years old, Anya works directly with the next generation of orphans, providing guidance along a road she has traveled. She has a huge heart to help and serve others. She is independent, educated, and successful. I had the great privilege of spending a few days with her during my recent trip to Russia and getting to hear her story. Anya is authentic, thoughtful, humble, and fun to be with. But I also saw how hard it has been for her to forgive and forget the pain of a childhood cloaked in neglect and abuse. She grew up without the things I take for granted—physical affection, attention, proper nutrition, and health care. She endured emotional and physical abuse that I don’t want to imagine.
Through Anya, I have seen firsthand what it takes to heal from victimization. Only the knowledge, love, and grace of a heavenly Father and a place of belonging in the family of Christ can heal those wounds. God is not only our Healer, but our Transformer, turning the wounds into life lessons that can eventually be seen as gifts. Anya will tell you today that her heart still longs for the love and attention of caring parents, but she has met a Father who will never leave or forsake her, and she knows she is part of a family that will never be torn away from her, the family of God.
If you have met an Anya or even an orphan in another country, perhaps this story sounds familiar to you. Even when situations appear hopeless, there is still hope. It often comes in the form of people who take to heart God’s command in James 1:27 to help others—widows and orphans—in their distress. Let us be among those who don’t hesitate to help.
